Well...

Okay so between June and I we wil try to update as much as possbile. Sometimes it will look like we might be back tracking but I think that's just becasue neither one of know when the other is updating.

June's pretty much covered the baiscs about what's going on.

Although I am accepting it, everyday just seems unreal. I haven't cried about him as much lately, but Aleja does every now an dhten at night. I try to imagine what she's thinking... listening to everyone talk, not being able to see or having seen him since it all happened. She prays for him everyday and tells me how much she wants to see him and loves him and everything. She's preparing things for him for when he returns home.

To be honest this is an exhausting process... I know each of our family members has their own burdens to bear regarding this, but i think aside from trying to learn to run his business without any help it's been a little stressful and tiring for me but the Lord will provide the wisdom and insight on how to deal with it and what to do.

On the spiritual side I have seen and experienced quite a bit since the beginning of this whole thing. I know the Lord is trying to build us up and take us hire by showing us all what we're made of. From almost the beginning, the Lord has been showing me stuff and revealing things to me to help m, e stay strong. I few days after his heart attack I was in the bathroom waiting for Aleja after a visit. The visits the first week were especially draining since we didn't know what to expect and the doctors were trying to give him a bad report. So although I could be strong during the visits, I would get very sad and partially depressed and I had to fight hard to stay encouraged. Well, like I said i was in the bathroom waiting, and starting to feel down and i heard like a voice (internally) say, "My daughter, if i wanted to take [your father through death] I would have taken him." Immediately, the Lord started revealing to me scenarios where my dad could have died. Like, he could have died during the night while everyone was asleep, my mom could have overslept at moment he was dying, the paramedics could have given up on him, etc. and I was like wow. He then said, "I would NEVER torture you like that." He was telling me that their was a reason behind all of this and not to worry, my dad would be fine.
A few days later I had a vision of a large angel standing guard over his bed. The angel's wings were curved/curled over like a barrier guarding him. His guardian angel. Although I didn't see a face, I knew it was an angel. In fact I made it a point to pay attention to what kind of angel it was. I remember seeing an angel, over my aunt in a dream before she died, but her angel was HUGE! HUGE! Like I couldn't even see the top of the angel I just know the angel told me he was there to help my aunt "transition" (die). It was the angel of death and I wanted to make sure that wasn't the same angel over my dad-- it wasn't (whew).

I also had a dream last night that we were looking for my dad in his hospital bed in hiss room and he wasn't there, and we looked down the hall and my dad was just walking and talking all fast moving quickly. I'm not sure what it meant, but it seemed to be good.